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Hello, Island Natives!

I know there's more gay sex in one episode of "Queer as Folk" than you can find in a sex club, but that doesn't make it good TV in my mind. "QAF" is like MTV's "Undressed," a guilty pleasure best viewed with a bottle of lube and the sound off. "Sex and the City" is more my speed, but it's less about gay issues than it is about shoes. Pound for pound, the best gay story line on TV is on a little horror-action show about a former cheerleader who kills demons. Jerk off to the "QAF" cuties all you want: The best gay TV is "Buffy the Vampire Slayer."

REMEMBER: The FMI News is fresh every week. Past FMI News can be found in the FMI News Archive.

To be perfectly honest, I was shocked to find out that Joss Whedon, creator of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer," is straight. He wrote the cute dialogue in "Speed" that made Sandra Bullock a star. His original "Buffy" film was filled with self-obsessed, witty-bitchy girls who could have kicked the asses of all the Heathers in "Heathers." How could someone like this not be gayer than Christmas? Despite the handicap of his sexual orientation, Whedon has managed to churn out arguably the best gay characters and story line ever to grace the small screen.

In season four of the series, dependable and sweet budding witch Willow Rosenberg found lesbian love in college with equally sweet Tara Maclay. In one of the sexiest nonsexual moments in TV history, Tara and Willow discovered their mutual attraction while locking hands and using their powers to stop heart-stealing demons from cutting them open alive. That episode, "Hush," was not only nominated for an Emmy, it also marked the gay turning point of the series. Over the next two seasons, "Buffy" viewers were treated to a mature and engaging lesbian plot filled with realistic turmoil and issues, as well as some hot girl-on-girl action. What more can you ask of a series?

That "Buffy" has flown under the GLAAD radar is a total crime. As other, lesser shows have reaped accolades and praise at GLAAD's annual dressy events, Whedon and his terrific cast and crew have gone virtually unrecognized. So, too, the series has avoided much of the conservative criticism heaped on other shows. Around the same time as the gay "Buffy" scene, "Dawson's Creek" made the news for its gay kiss -- while "Buffy" went unreported. Perhaps that shows how seamlessly integrated into the show the gay stuff is. When gay characters are done right on TV, it shouldn't be news.

This May, "Buffy" goes off the air after seven terrific seasons. Willow has a new love interest, a tough, ass-kicking slayer named Kennedy, but we may never know what comes of their romance. Also, the clueless-about-his-own-homosexuality character, Andrew, will likely never realize he is gay. It was fun while it lasted, though. And now that we can look back at the show as a whole, I think it's high time GLAAD got off its high horse and handed Whedon a Vanguard Award (given to members of the entertainment community who have made a significant difference promoting equal rights for the GLBT community). After all, what's the point of having an award for the best gay TV if it doesn't honor the best gay TV?

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Another year, another apocalypse: Rating Buffy's all-world saves

By Robert Bianco, USA TODAY

When you live on a hellmouth, all hell tends to break loose. You know what they say: With the apocalypse, the key is location, location, location.

Still, being at the center of a mystical energy source does have its advantages particularly for a show looking for a rousing season-ender. After all, how many series ever get to bring the world to the brink of destruction even once, let alone six times and counting?

Even on Buffy, however, all apocali are not created equal. And what can we do but grade them? So here are the six ways Buffy has saved the world, ranked on a "Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse" (or , in this case) scale.

The Master, an age-old vampire and the show's first "Big Bad," wants to open the hellmouth and let vamps and demons run loose on Earth. And he almost gets away with it, thanks to a misinterpreted prophecy that leads Buffy, briefly, to her death. You get the essence of the series in one rapid-fire hour: She dies, she revives, she throws around a few well-chosen quips, she throws The Master through the library skylight, and then she goes to a dance with her friends. (3.5 stars)

Having lost his soul, Angel opens a vortex that will suck Earth into a hell dimension. By the time he gets his soul back, it's too late: Buffy has to kill him to close the vortex. Featuring the most emotionally powerful apocalypse, this episode is the show at its creative height. (4 stars)

Sunnydale's mayor and the high school's graduation day speaker turns into a giant serpent and begins feeding on the assembled graduates. Buffy lures him into an explosives-laden trap in the school library, blowing up the school and the mayor in the process and ending her high school career with the proverbial bang. Capping what is probably Buffy's best season, this is easily the wittiest apocalypse, as the kids realize to their horror that, even though he plans to eat them, the mayor is still determined to deliver his commencement address in full. (4 stars)

A Frankenstein-type monster, the product of a secret government "initiative" gone wrong, plans to take over the world by creating an army of similar mutants. Alone, Buffy cannot stop him. But a spell unites her powers with those of her friends, and the newly empowered Buffy kills him. Yeah, but of course she does. Even with the mixed parts, he's only human. We expect bigger things from Buffy than monsters and the military. (2.5 stars)

Glory, a god from another dimension, plans to destroy the world by opening a dimensional door, using Buffy's sister, Dawn, as the key. Though she needs a wrecking ball to do it, Buffy eventually subdues Glory. To close the door, however, she must swan-dive into it from a high tower dying for the second time in the bargain. The show was back in form with this apocalypse, as Buffy willingly makes the ultimate sacrifice. Her reward? A tombstone that reads "She Saved the World. A Lot." (3.5 stars)

Sometimes, apocali come from within. Mad with grief over the murder of her lover, Willow gives in to the dark side of her powers and decides to end the world. She's stopped, not by Buffy's power, but by Xander's love. A fine, redemptive finale, but it loses half a horseman for being attached to the least satisfying season. (3 stars)

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The end of 'Buffy' feels like a dagger to the heart
By Robert Bianco, USA TODAY

Buffy has always been the least guilty of TV pleasures. Granted, as with all cultists, Buffy the Vampire Slayer fans were often forced to defend themselves to the uninitiated. But honestly, defending the show has never been particularly hard, or even momentarily embarrassing.

Sarah Michelle Gellar has played Buffy to the hilt. She will be missed.

Simply put, for seven seasons, Buffy has been one of the smartest, scariest, sexiest and wittiest shows on television. Too often dismissed as a teen show or a genre show, Buffy was a well-acted and often brilliantly written comedy/drama that, under its fantasy guise, treated the pains and joys of life with admirable and sometimes shocking realism.

Yes, some episodes were better than others, as were some seasons. The show worked best when the "Scooby Gang" was together in high school, and least well last season, when it was splintered by self-pity and ennui. But when you look at the seven seasons as a whole, what is most striking is the show's consistency and artistic integrity.

So perhaps it's best that the show is leaving us now. Starting tonight on UPN (8 ET/PT), Buffy kicks off a four-episode run to its May 20 series finale. It will be missed, but creator Joss Whedon the frighteningly talented force behind the series is probably right when he says the show has reached a logical conclusion.

You can get the basic idea of the show from that title that so many adults seemed to find off-putting: Buffy slays vampires. But if you look at the title again, you'll see the show isn't about what she does, it's about who she is. She was called to this role, which allowed Buffy to explore issues of responsibility most other series ignore.

At heart, the vampires Buffy and her friends fought were metaphors for the monsters we all face particularly in high school, where every decision seems like life and death, and every problem seems like the end of the world. The unexpected bonus in Buffy was the kids were right. They were facing down the apocalypse. And they did so while chatting in a slangy appropriation of pop culture references that was amusing without ever becoming forced or annoying.

What was amazing, however, was not just how apt the metaphor proved to be, but how adaptable it was. Without ever straying from its basic story and characters, Buffy could swing from outright horror to comedy to heartbreaking family drama. Over the years, it touched upon many of life's toughest issues: separation, rejection, the death of a parent or a lover, the alienation of old friends, the cruelty of a partner who no longer loves you.

But the issues didn't just fly by; they had weight and repercussions. Life didn't come free on Buffy: Mistakes were paid for, and while things were forgiven, they were never forgotten. That's one reason the characters could often be difficult, particularly Buffy herself, who like most saviors, and a good many actors, was best admired from a distance.

Feel guilty for liking a show like that? Never. But I'll tell you what I do feel as it departs.

Slayed.

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The skinny blond from California has managed to stop demon armies, countless vampires and more than one apocalypse.

But now that television's innovative teen series is coming to an end, Buffy the Vampire Slayer faces its final, and perhaps most formidable, doomsday challenge: surviving death of the TV kind.

The dedication of loyal -- and some might argue obsessive -- fans promises to bestow the pop culture icon with a robust afterlife that may very well surpass its current on-air presence, which gets staked in a finale airing Tuesday on UPN TV (and CHUM stations in Canada). It's a prospect that doesn't escape writer-creator Joss Whedon, who set out all along to create characters that were survivors in more ways than one.

"The show is designed to live on," declares Whedon, nonetheless amazed his characters have inspired university papers, more than 120 books and 1,300 Web sites. "Interest will grow, or maybe it'll drop off the radar.

"The show will never age because the characters never do," he says from his Los Angeles office. "I feel the show could go on indefinitely in terms of stories, but the grind, the grind, good Lord."

He's not kidding about the grind.

Not long ago, Whedon was at the helm of three prime-time shows -- including Buffy's dark spinoff Angel and the failed sci-fi series Firefly, which starred Canadian Nathan Fillion and lasted only half a season last year.

Critics complained Whedon's heavy workload took its toll on Buffy, which turned dark in last year's Season 6 when the perky protagonist (Sarah Michelle Gellar) sank into deep depression and violent sex with her vampire adversary. She had issues, what with being brought back from the dead and having to crawl out of her own grave. You know how it is.

But for the most part, the hallmark of the show has been its ability to swing from hilarious farce to thrilling action to heart-wrenching family drama. All the while portraying alienation and teen angst as metaphorical monsters and end-of-the-world battles that its young heroes must overcome (a lot).

It also treated adolescent girls more seriously than any other show, and its message of empowerment remained a consistent theme that has carried to this Tuesday's blockbuster ending, says Whedon.

"It's huge, it's epic," he promises. "It's not perfect. But it does say what I wanted it to say and I think it will make people feel as I want them to feel -- depressed, elated, angry, hopeful and completed. And uncompleted."

The pressure to achieve all these things was immense, says Whedon, and resulted in a mini-breakdown the week shooting wrapped.

"We had to shut down production because I was falling apart. I literally could not sit up," he says. "It was an accumulation of seven years of Buffy, four years of Angel, Firefly and a four-month-old baby. Combine those things and what you get is death."

But as fans of the show have learned, nothing really dies in the Buffy realm. Just because the series has ended doesn't mean we've seen the last of the Scooby gang -- Buffy's demon-hunting cohorts who help the Chosen One battle evil and defy curfew to date boys.

Whedon says bad-boy vamp Spike will join Angel, and other characters will likely visit the spinoff as well. However plans for a spinoff about the Watchers -- stuffy British guardians who train slayers in the ways of vampire hunting -- are on hold. Whedon says he needs to take a break.

And the time is right to end the series, he says, even though in its seven years, its unique mix of fantasy, metaphor and clever language never managed to win it widespread acclaim.

Whedon said he's not left with any regret.

"I think we received mainstream acceptance," he says. "We never received widespread acclaim but the fans loved it, critics respected it and people cared."

Meanwhile, Space: The Imagination Station plans a special Victoria Day viewers choice marathon Monday, with a top 10 of episodes chosen by fans from seasons one to six.

It runs from 9 a.m. ET to 7 p.m. and is followed by the original Buffy the Vampire Slayer movie starring Kristy Swanson and Luke Perry.

Also, Fox Video is releasing all 22 episodes of season four as a six-disc DVD set June 10.

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